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[hierophany]

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Comments

[hierophany]

Oh.

I'd need to see for sure, but that could well be a failure on the part of the instructions. They've already made the mistake of describing it as instant. If the instructions were simply to measure oats and water and then microwave both, there are a great amount of assumptions that the reader would need to make in order to follow them.

Some of us have come here from places without microwaves, after all. They really should consider that in their documentation.

[freshprints]

Why would the makers of microwavable faster than average oatmeal contemplate its use by consumers who have no conception of microwaves?

[hierophany]

This place was prepared for newcomers in other ways. It would have been foolish of them not to consider the possibility that a customer might be unaware of microwaves.

It's a terrible oversight that so much effort has been expended to ensure that we're informed about magic and the like, and yet not to ensure that we know about the technologies we're encountering. It's only luck that they match up with the things some of us are familiar with.

Microwave lessons should have been provided alongside magic lessons, really.

[freshprints]

Are you going to take it upon yourself to accommodate for the deficit?

You might have to change your username to "technologyfacts".

un: technologyfacts

[hierophany]

Microwaves are a device used to cook food quickly and with less energy expenditure than a traditional oven*. They cook food by using a form of electromagnetic radiation, which is also known as a microwave, to excite the molecules found within food. This generates heat using friction.

*An oven is a device used to produce and distribute heat.

[freshprints]

Username technologyfacts, what are:

1) electromagnetic radiation
2) molecules
3) friction

[hierophany]

Thank you for your thoughtful questions, AlterEgo.

1) Electromagnetic radiation is the phenomenon of energy moving through space in waves. Examples of electromagnetic radiation include visible light.

2) A molecule is a group of atoms. An atom is the smallest possible quantity of a substance. When two or more atoms form chemical bonds, the result is a molecule. They are very small, and most items are made up of many molecules.

3) Friction is the force generated when two or more items in contact move against each other. An example of friction is two sticks being rubbed together to generate heat, resulting in a fire.

[freshprints]

Username technologyfacts, if all that is true, then why doesn't my faster than average oatmeal cook just by shining a light on it?

[hierophany]

Most forms of light do, in fact, produce heat in addition to light. However, devices such as flashlights are made to distribute this heat in a way which makes them safe for a user to touch. Unfortunately, oatmeal is perishable once the oats are mixed with water. While a light could theoretically eventually cook oatmeal, it would be unlikely to do so before the oatmeal ceased to be suitable for consumption.

In other words, it would be slower than average oatmeal.

[freshprints]

Username technologyfacts, what does any of this have to do with how to prepare a bowl of faster than average oatmeal, in a practical sense?

[hierophany]

It is important to understand that many materials are not appropriate for using in a microwave. For example when exposed to the radiation of a microwave some dishes will become extremely hot, resulting in them breaking.

Dishware that can safely be placed inside a microwave will be sold as 'microwave safe'.

Please prepare all microwaved foods using only microwave-safe dishware and do not add any unnecessary items to the microwave when preparing your meal of faster than average oatmeal.

[freshprints]

That was actually well-articulated.

You may be on to something with this idea, username technologyfacts.

[hierophany]

I'll add it to the network's encyclopedia, perhaps.

Once I finish making the articles I'm working on.

[freshprints]

You're adding articles to the network's encyclopedia?

[hierophany]

It contained no information on baseball, Sunshine Princess Miracle-Chan or the digestive processes of frogs.

[freshprints]

Baseball.

[Uh-oh.]

[hierophany]

You would think that the concept of 'hit ball with stick' would be universal, but apparently not.

[freshprints]

So, like with microwaves, you're preparing the masses for baseball because the local environment hasn't done it adequately.

...

Are you familiar with "Senbon Nokku"?

[hierophany]

As a training philosophy, or as a specific training regimen? I'm familiar with both.

As a training regimen it refers to the practice of having players catch balls until they pass out from exhaustion. It's a commonly used training method by most professional teams.

As a philosophy, it refers to the practice of training in any discipline until you can do so no further for physical exhaustion or risk of injury which might compromise ones' capabilities.

[freshprints]

Don't add it to the encyclopedia.

[hierophany]

[ ... ]

Okay.

Is there anything else that I ought to omit?

[freshprints]

You aren't going to ask why?

[hierophany]

Either you have a good reason or you're jealously guarding the secrets of baseball for some sort of nefarious purpose, possibly involving your wanting to engineer the perfect baseball player so that you can start a team that dominates every game once people here figure out what baseball is.

Which is exactly the kind of nonsense I would like a part in.

[freshprints]

I don't agree with the training method.

Why even make someone aware of it, if they're otherwise oblivious. So much the better to just exempt it from public recognition.

[hierophany]

Very well, then.

[ A twenty minute delay. ]

Senbon Nokku is the name of a musician from the mid-1920s. His work is relatively obscure, but was influential enough at the time that he is notable enough for an encyclopedia entry. As he made some statements that are controversial to a modern audience, his page has been flagged to ensure any changes are carefully moderated.

[ Yes, this is an abuse of power. But it means that nobody else can make an article about the topic either. ]