INBOX (noctium)

[hierophany]

« snailfacts » TEXT ✧ AUDIO ✧ VIDEO ✧ ACTION Noriaki Kakyoin ✦ Jojo's Bizarre Adventure
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camp whitegrave, un: messagebottle

[freshprints]

Ghosts have been sighted along the forest perimeter, beyond the edge of camp.

[hierophany]

You can't just say that. You have to start with 'ghosts are real', and I have to say that that sounds fake, and then you have to counter with 'ghosts are real and now they're haunting you for being a dick'.

Also, thank you for the information. Even if it is somewhat concerning.

un: j. kujo

[oraorarush]

I can't sleep.

[it's 3 am, buddy]

[hierophany]

It'd be fucked up if you could sleep and you were still sending messages anyway.

un: alter ego

[freshprints]

Describe the process for preparing instant oatmeal.

[hierophany]

If it’s instant why the fuck would it need preparing?

text; un: riproduzione

[teaserving]

hey
whats your name

[hierophany]

I am snailfacts, radianet's only dedicated source of on-demand facts about snails.

Snail shells never stop growing. A theoretical immortal snail would eventually be trapped by the weight of its own shell and be damned to a life of constant starvation as it waited for its shell to become large enough to crush it, hoping that maybe that would finally bring it the release of death but knowing in its heart that it would only be a new season of torment in its unending life.

un: datingfacts

[freshprints]

I left something for you near the spherical fountain in Waterfront Park.

[hierophany]

That’s kind of you, Sakura-chan. I’ll investigate now.

Will you be in the area?

un: j. kujo

[oraorarush]

Got annoyed with the public housing so I bought a place.

There's rooms open if you want one.

[hierophany]

[ Well that's a heck of a first thing to really talk about since the disaster that stopped being a conversation about baseball.

Trust Jotaro to make his life weird and awkward just by being nice. The telltale five-minute '...' of a message constantly being written out and deleted and rewritten follows. ]

Yeah.

Yeah. That would be nice.

un: alter ego

[freshprints]

Username VideoGameFacts, I need a primer on how to be good at video games.

Preferably condensed into bullet points, if possible.

un: VideoGameFacts 1/2

[hierophany]

One moment, I have to get the unhelpful, dismissive response out of my system.

• Get


• Good

Productive response to follow.

un: SlightlyMoreUsefulVideoGameFacts

[hierophany]

It depends on the kind of game you're playing. Games are varied. More than likely, you'll naturally have some that you find easier and others that you'll struggle with.

For you, I'd suggest a puzzle game with defined correct answers that require mostly logical thinking and problem solving. That seems like the kind you'll find most natural, so a game like that would provide a way for you to figure out the quirks of games as a medium in a context that makes sense to you.

un: alter ego

[freshprints]

I have a question for Hierophant-kun, if he's available.

It's actually a question about Hierophant-kun, but it seems rude to go behind his back rather than simply asking him directly.

un: facts

[hierophany]

hello my friend who uses the assumed moniker of sakura i am here to answer your question

un: seiko-chan

[freshprints]

Teddy-kun, I'm sad today. 😢

un: 🧸

[hierophany]

(it'll be okay)> (っ´ω`)ﾉ(╥ω╥)

Did something happen? Do you need cat pictures?

un: j. kujo

[oraorarush]

Did you know that you can make money from playing video games?

[hierophany]

I'd heard about it, but it sounds a little too good to be true. Especially here.

I'm giving it two months maximum until someone gets dragged into a computer to fight slimes with a wooden sword.

un: DSC910

[freshprints]

I had to register a new username. If you go looking for 🌸 or 👼 at my old one, you won't find her.

un: 7FFF00

[hierophany]

Ah. Yes, that would explain a great deal.

Hierophant likes it. The new one. He's fond of sequences of letters and numbers, and if you switch the s to a 5, it's about the colour of his eyes.

un: j. kujo

[oraorarush]

Star made the coffee this morning.

Re: un: j. kujo

[hierophany]

Thanks. I'll head to the kitchen now.

I remember. Some of it. So you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to.

misfire from hell; un: dsc910

[freshprints]

What exactly is your objection to my sexting people on my own time?

un: productivityfacts

[hierophany]

[ Probably about 30 of the 40 seconds he takes to reply to this were used on updating the screenname. ]

It's inefficient.

Your own time is valuable, and so long as you have access to a communication device it's possible to sext during engagements with other people. The best use of time would be to sext during what would otherwise be lulls in the conversation.

[freshprints]

Hierophant-kun. This is your beloved friend Luna-san.

An unauthorized gift-wrapped package has appeared in my house. Please tell Kakyoin-kun that I




Please tell Kakyoin-kun that I need him to make a series of decisions for me because I am compromised and not capable of making them myself at the present moment.

[hierophany]

hello my beloved friend luna hyphen san this is tenmei stop newline my good friend noriaki kakyoin is present stop i will be communicating on his behalf stop

[ And then, unusually for Hierophant, there is an actual line break. ]

i am here

→ DELIVERY | DECEMBER 25th

[freshprints]

[Come December 25th, a selection of three boxes are deposited outside Kakyoin's door. One is addressed to Teddy-kun from Seiko-chan; one is addressed to Kakyoin-kun from Sakura-chan, and one is addressed to Hierophant Green from Luna-chan.

Inside the various boxes, Kakyoin will find a compilation of classic arcade games, a personal item, and a ridiculous hat, respectively. The box containing the personal item also includes a handwritten note.]

Maybe this is really a gift for the boy you'll spend the rest of your life protecting.