INBOX (noctium)

[hierophany]

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[freshprints]

You'd be surprised. I found it immensely unpleasant for precisely that reason.

I hate my PRIMARY TARGET for putting me in a position where my actions have no effect over my own fate. And ultimately I love my PRIMARY TARGET for cheating, because it resulted in me being alive.

[hierophany]

They're like that, aren't they? Life-changing boys. Just going around deciding that nothing matters because they've decided that people ought to be alive and that's that. It's infuriating.

I neglected to mention a fear. You'll develop it after a few hours, once the situation sinks in a little more. You realise that if your actions have no connection to his insistence on making sure you live, that means he's going to do that for everyone. That he's going to try to save people, even when it's stupid. Going to give them chances to be better even when you know they're only going to throw them back in his face. And he doesn't even have the good sense to do it because he's stupid. If it was because he was stupid, maybe you could convince him not to. He knows he'll get hurt. He's just decided that matters less than saving people.

You develop a new fear. You're going to have to spend the rest of your life protecting this man.

[freshprints]

...

You did, didn't you.

And I'm going to.